sucking on my ruffle...

No...I'm not copping a squat...well, I am, but not in that sense.  I was in Vegas last week for a trade show and wore this awesome long Rachel Pally striped jersey dress with the most adorable little ruffle at the bottom.  I have to say it's probably one of my favorite maxi dresses that I own.  My co-workers and I were riding down the escalator and as I was about to step off, the bottom of my dress got sucked into the escalator.  As I watched my dress slowly start disappearing down the side of the moving stairs, I dropped to the ground thinking it would rip right off of me and expose what few undergarments I had on.  Instead, the machine sucked so much of my dress that it caused the escalator to stop.  The people riding behind us had to walk the rest of the way down because my lovely little ruffle jammed up the track.  One of the officials for the trade show immediately ran over thinking I had hurt myself and all I could think of was to have him push the red emergency button to stop the machine so that it wouldn't start up again.  He told me the machine was stopped already.  I was staring up at this man trying to explain that it was stopped because my dress made it stop, but that it could start back up any minute and I REALLY did not want that to happen.  Eventually as a circle of trade show staff, fellow tradespeople, and even security formed around me they began to understand what I was saying and that I was fearful of being left in my birthday suit in a quite compromising position.  They finally pressed the emergency stop button and asked if they could cut my dress, which I would have allowed had it been an EMT and my leg was severed; but it really wasn't this dramatic.  I knew how to fix the problem - all that needed to happen was to reverse the machine so that I could be freed - but this was somehow very complicated and required a finger print, DNA sample, and first born child just to be allowed access to the magical button that would reverse the machine.  At this point I asked my co-worker to snap a pic because I knew no one would understand unless they saw.  Eventually, a sheriff rode over on his Segway (yes, Segway) and was able to reverse the machine and I could finally stand up.  The dress was completely greased up and shredded which made me so sad until the sheriff asked me the cost of the dress so I could be reimbursed.  There is no price for the mortification I felt while squatting on the ground and having people walk by staring down at me.  I now have a fear of escalators and make sure to stand directly in the middle with my hands and arms inside the cabin at all times.

Curating

I am in the process of moving and am now realizing I like to collect stuff.  Not like a rare stamp collection or creepy porcelain-faced dolls, or even beautiful butterflies pinned to polyfill under framed glass, but just stuff.  I wouldn't classify myself as a horder...I'm not talking about paper stacked pathways through my apartment to designated areas like the one seat on the couch or piles of old gum wrappers and twine, but stuff in general.  I have a vast "collection" of jewlery, make-up, shoes, clothes, scarves, craft items, etc.  I should just host tours and charge $2..."and to your left you'll find "Club" by Mac...This color dates back to 1999.  It was incredibly popular, especially with the sorority crowd.  Note the dark grey and aqua green with the juxtaposition of red-brown undertones.  Yes, quite a rarity...please do not push and stand behind the rope..."  

I think I just enjoy spending.  And that's great for this economy, but bad for my bank account and plans for my future.  I mean I've known that I have this horrible habit for a while, but seeing the amount of things (and that's exactly what they are - just things) that I am extracting and disposing of is making me depressed.  I'm finding things that I forgot I ever owned, may have worn once, and the ultimate worst - things with tags still on them.  I even have "back-ups" of lotion - body and face, sunscreen, medicines, mascara, and more.  UGH!  It really is ridiculous.

I'm trying to use this move as a cleansing and introduction of new behavior.  Out with the old...hold off on the new.  Too bad I'm already thinking about how much space is now available in my closet...and how I need some espadrilles...and I want to get postage stamps to make some cute notecards...and I'm craving some new lip stains...and I want to start wearing more headbands and barettes...and...

god...I need a support group....

A few of my favorite things from McQueen

Alexander McQueen truly was an amazing designer. His feminine looks with a tough edge epitomize the modern, independent woman with attitude. His skull collection was probably one of my favs, by far. However, his keen eye for patterns, color and detail made his look really stand out. He will be missed.

~RIP Mr. McQueen~

Alexander McQueen by j*fab featuring Alexander McQueen

Items in this set:
Lace-embroidered satin dress, $5,285
Alexander McQueen Lace embellished bustier top, $1,995
Alexander McQueen Cutout leather ankle boots, $995
Alexander McQueen Faithful Bootie, 375 GBP
Alexander McQueen Spring 2010 Shoes

ShoeBlog

China logic

Well, I am in China...have been here since 11/4/09 and must say this is the busiest, most stressful trip I have ever had. There has been so much I have wanted to blog about, but between getting access to the site and being kept extrememly busy, it hasn't happened. I have been close to a couple break-downs and did, in fact, reach one a few days ago. Lots of cursing and even some tears, but was able to pull myself together after 10 minutes of ranting. It's amazing how such a short little outburst can really help you feel better. I'm not sure what it is about this trip - the fact that I really want to get home or the fact that everyday the line I am developing takes a severe turn or that I am not getting enough sleep every night becuase I am fighting off mosquitos, but even the little annoyances are ready to send me off the deep end...and believe me, they would not normally induce the response they are here:


*I have to use an outlet converter to blow dry my hair....pure logic would state - put the mirror near the outlet, however not so. Therefore, as I try to see just a quarter of my head that I am trying to style, the plug falls out. Try this about every 2 seconds of blow-drying. By day 3, I was on the verge of screaming. PS....there is another outlet closer to the mirror, but wouldn't you know, the tv is plugged into this one and that cord is stretched about all it can...DUH! move the tv to the other table that's closer to BOTH outlets.

*grown men who hit the back of my seat in the airplane, people who try to push in front of me in the ticket line, and people I politely ask if they speak english only to be swatted away like a 2nd class citizen - I think traveling in China turns me into somewhat of a BITCH - I give dirty looks, am not shy to tell people to stop and swat at them, push back (and harder), and try to fill my personal bubble with carry-ons. I feel like a wild animal, having been tempted to hit people as I know they can not understand me if I try to communicate with them. Maybe this is why animals attack...they are trying to tell their trainers to leave them alone for a bit.

*"My Friend"...if you don't know my name, I am not your friend. This is what every man on the Hong Kong streets says while trying to sell you a "nice watch". I don't even say no, or no, thank you anymore...just shake my head and put my hand up

*MOSQUITOS - I am up all night long....and not in the good way. :) I look like I'm performing some kind of African tribal dance with all my itching up and down my feet, legs, arms, and even face. I look like I'm going through puberty again with all these bites on my face. The repellent doesn't work, so I started sleeping with my blanket from home (I don't trust the cleanliness here) over my head and tucked all around me, which gets rather hot and difficult to sleep this way; and they still find a way to my sweet flesh. I find myself waking up several times a night flailing to try to kill at least one of them. The other night I had had it with them and was curious to see how many more hours I would need to endure this...it was only 12:50am...I growled, sprayed a cloud of repellent, and turned the air conditioning down so that it was close to freezing (I figured I could freeze them out), then pulled the blanket up over my head. I feel like I am in some sort of torture camp. And what is it with them buzzing for that millisecond by your ear. That sound alone is ready to send me off a cliff.


Really, I've been able to laugh at all of this, for the most part. Even after the break-downs, however touching down on sweet American soil will bring such a smile to my face. Believe me, this trip calls for a much needed de-stress session filled with facial, massage, and quiet...

so...my office does halloween....

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah...that is all....

because we love eachother....

I started a new job about a month ago and to say it's been crazybusy is an understatement.  I've been so neglectful to my cluster...sorry!  I vow to be better from here on out....

July 30...the day after the lay off....I had to get a new phone, as work removed the BB from my posession.  Boo!  Getting a new phone also involved getting a new number...Jaime's number.  Obviously at the time I didn't know it was Jaime's number, nor did I realize how many people are trying to get a hold of Jaime.  It started with a text I received from an unknown number on day 2 of the new digits.  I believe it said something along the lines of "baby, i miss you".  At first I was actually pretty excited...what a sweet little message.  I want to be missed.  I replied with "i think you have the wrong number".  Well, the gentleman thought I was playing games and proceeded to keep flirtexting.  In the midst of all of this I recieved a text from another number saying "hey baby", followed by "sorry, wrong jaime"...ah ha!  So, it's Jaime's number I've got. From that point on, I have recieved texts saying "are you still going to the show tomorrow night?", phone calls on school nights from inebriated kids yelling "JAIIIMMMMEEEE!", and voicemails from Banana Republic about an outstanding balance.  I've wanted to reply "what show...can I get tickets?", have groggily replied "this isn't jaime...grrr...", and thought "phew...glad it's not my account".

At this point I feel like I know this Jaime, like she's my old friend in much need of a catch up sesh.  At least I know she has friends that care about her, guys that want a piece, and unfortunately some financial problems (who doesn't these days).  In fact, I've learned that she lives in my town through the drunken musings before I heard Jaiiimmmeee screamed at me.  The scary part is that I have probably seen her out or met one of her friends, but how would either of us ever know?

Yesterday was the icing on the cake, but first let me preface it.  About a week or two ago, I received a phone call from an unknown number.  I rarely answer numbers that I don't recognize, especially after this whole Jaime fiasco.  I've feel that if someone is trying to reach Jaime, they should figure out pretty quickly that I am not her, as my voicemail says my name within the first 2 seconds.  Well, the unknown caller left me a message, which excited me.  I love trying to guess who it could be, but usually am let down.  Not today!  After dialing in my password, my lady friend told me I had one new message.  An elderly man clearly says hello, addressing me by my name, then explains he is Jaime's grandfather and is trying to reach her; as if we share this number.  He leaves me a detailed message explaining that they finally got a new t.v. and even gave a YIPPEEE.  That was my favorite part.  I was ready to call him back and let him know I didn't know Jaime or where she was, but I'd be his surrogate grand daughter as long as he kept up that YIPPEEE.  It could seriously turn a frown upside down.

I never called him back, but apparantly gramps was missing sweet little Jaime because I received a call from a number I didn't recognize yesterday and happened to answer it.  It was gramps!!!  He addressed me by name and explained that he was looking for Jaime.  I told him I did not know Jaime, but I must have her old number.  To which he replied, "we call each other because we love each other".  Awww, gramps, that's so sweet, but really don't need to know about the love.  I wished him luck in locating Jaime, which he assured me he could get in contact with her through her mother.  Not to be cynical, but I've had this number for the last three months and Jaime hasn't talked to gramps on it.  How much do they really love each other if Jaime nor mom clued gramps in on Jaime's new number?  It's almost worse than changing the locks on someone....

say hello to my little friend....

I decided with the weather getting cooler I was ready for some comfort food. Homemade butternut squash soup it would be. I wanted it a little spicy, so went to the patio to pick a pepper. I found this green guy hanging onto one of the stems. I almost picked him! He is a beautiful catterpiller, but I don't think I've ever seen one this big! Just to get a good perspective on how big this guy is...I took another picture with my arm in it. He is bigger and fatter than my middle finger! Probably weighs more than many newborns. Being that he is the size of many of those little pets that people call dogs (I think they are more of the rat varietal). I wanted to make him my new pet...I figured he's pretty low maintenance and since he really didn't mind me petting him I thought he'd be happy about the deal too. I came up with a couple names - Henry, Pepper, and Slim; however I wanted to sleep on it before committing to one. Often, pets' personalities come out as you get to know them and I wanted to make sure I named him appropriately. The soup turned out scrumptious and the rest of the night was pretty uneventful, but went to sleep with sweet dreams of my new pet and the many adventures we would have - picking out his first collar; going on long walks; playing catch; and driving around with his head out the window, tongue flapping in the wind.

This morning I was so excited to greet my new pet and made sure to visit him on the patio before jetting off to work. I bee-lined it to his home, but didn't see him. I mean I barely saw him the night before and even thought he was a pepper, so I looked all over the pepper plant, soil below, and even neighboring plants. Little Slim was gone! I knew he would one day turn into a beautiful butterfly and leave me, but overnight? A caterpiller that big would surely be a big butterfly and would need some time in his chrysallis! I looked up to see the several plump pigeons already collected on the telephone lines and was sure I heard one burp and lick his beak. Poor Slim! Looks like Thanksgiving came a little early for some...