lucky me

Today while on hold with the LA Court system trying to change the time of my court appearance (long story, which will make it here on or around the 25th of June) I got to listen to some lovely instrumental jazz.  The song was 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas'.  It took me a second to place it...but then I realized I was saying "let your heart be light".  I thought maybe it was a coincidence - you know, maybe like how the ABC song sounds like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  I decided the chances are pretty slim - it's just a Christmas song.  It is the middle of June, so either they are too early or a little late with that one.  It being the LA court system, I'm sure no one got around to removing that one from the selection after the month of December; probably because they were on break or their window was closed.  Sorry to generalize, but every experience I have had in dealing with our wonderful bureaucratic system has been negative.  This citation that I am trying to take care of is not even for me - it was a typo from the DMV, but i need to take care of it by appearing in court and speaking to a judge.  That makes a lot of sense, right?  

Even just now after talking to a clerk and requesting to change my time of appearance to be in the morning, rather than the evening, I was told that I can not.  When I scheduled my court date, it was about 2 months ago and I didn't know if I would have work obligations on this day, which I brought to the attention of the clerk who scheduled my date.  She told me that I could call and change the time only, not the date.  Now I am being told the opposite and told that I obviously didn't understand what the first clerk told me.  I did understand what I was told - both today and 2 months ago; however it gets rather confusing when two people who are supposed to be following the same protocol tell you completely opposite information.  It further perturbs me when I am now being told that it is because I can not comprehend what I was told.  It makes it really hard to follow the rules.  Not to be bratty, but I've probably had more education than both of them (probably not both together though, although it wouldn't surprise me).

So, after speaking with the woman on the phone, I am told that I can not change court times; however if I "miss" my court date I can show up the next day in the morning or afternoon time slot.  Now maybe I'm missing the logic here, but wouldn't it just be easier to schedule me in earlier in the day that I currently have assigned, rather than assume I will be there at the evening time and not have me show up.  Then to have me show up the next morning and cause a disruption in the schedule?  What's the point in scheduling a court date/time when it seems it's just an approximation of when you may be there?  

I tend to ask a lot of questions, as I like to understand why certain rules are in place - some think I am being obstinate, but I really just want to know to better understand the reasoning.  Believe me, I got in trouble by the parents A LOT as a child for my questions - I was told I was being difficult.  So, I ask this woman why it is this way and why i couldn't just schedule an earlier time.  She told me I was lucky to even be able to show up the following day.  So I responded with, "well, I'm glad I'm lucky"...of course in my most sarcastic, but trying to sound clueless tone.  I really wanted to follow it up with "maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket", but I'm sure she could've removed any existence of my questioned court date with a swift pinky to the delete button on her keyboard, so I resisted.  I didn't realize LUCK played a part in the judicial system, I thought it was a system that promotes truth and justice.  Hmmm....I guess I was unlucky from the beginning in having to take care of this mistaken identity in the first place.  Maybe I will have myself a merry little christmas today...and I really wish "from now on, [my] troubles will be miles away".

foot fetish?

I found this lovely garment on Zappos.com today.  I could not pass up an opportunity to comment on this little gem.  

Underwear for the feet?  I don't want to think about flesh-toned tightey, uhh, whiteys? - i guess nudies, in this case.  Nor, do I want to think about my feet in a crotch-like sense.  I already have issues with feet...now they are going to make me think of androgynous crotches.  I know I'm going to have nightmares from these atrocities.  I imagine foot fetishers coveting these.  I wonder if they make them with garters and "crotch-less" varieties.  Maybe a nice black lace version with matching ankle bra?  Gives me the chills...and not in a good way.  Maybe I'm just too sheltered to get it.  The blurb about the product states they are used for dance - lyrical, jazz and that sort; but it also says they can be worn under street shoes.  Not to be extremely graphic, but is it to keep the toe jam from getting into your shoes?  Everything about these are just wrong.

the male dominated society

in china.  normally i have so many stories, but i think i have become too accustomed to the culture that little affects me or surprises me anymore.  however, tonight i had the funniest thing happen to me. most would probably not giggle, but i am still giggling about it.  

Tonight started off innocently.  I had a last minute trip planned for Putien, China from Zhoung Shen, China.  I was traveling by myself sans cell phone, which I think worried all the US higher ups.  Shockingly I was not worried about any thing...I think because I knew that pre-cell phone era people traveled in many countries despite knowing the language.  I knew one way or another I could figure things out.  The pilots fly as they drive in China - pretty much in a bee-line.  Not so apparent until landing.  The wings cocked to the left, then the right before finally hitting the ground with such force I thought we would be ejected from our seats.  Immediately the breaks hit, causing me to reach for the "oh shit handle" as in a Jeep; but was non-existent.  After collecting my luggage, I was picked up from the airport by my Brazilian counterpart that lives here and immediately taken to dinner.  I felt bad already that they had waited for the dinner (it is a big production here, which usually takes place about 6:30pm...it was 9pm) and I'm sure they were starving. 

Dinner was fantastic...how can it not be when they make you feel like a celebrity. I thought all I had to do was play the part through dinner, then could go back to the hotel and go to sleep; however not so easy.  This is a culture that loves to entertain and impress.  I have had to learn how to accept it all, as if you do not they are offended.  I was told we were going to a club.  Apparently I am their personal go-go dancer...but whatever I have to do to get my samples.  But of course, with a few exceptions.

Immediately upon arriving to the club they were trying to force me onto the stage.  While some may think I like attention, I get very shy with public attention and need about 4 beers of coaxing.  Eventually I got on the stage, really only because I felt bad for all the effort put in to make my time special.  Shortly after I needed to use the restroom, so I went with one of the Chinese women.  As I walked into the stall (non-western style, nonetheless - please look it up to get the full visual...it involves squatting), I was grabbed by the arm and pulled out by a man.  I was taken aback at first, but immediately fell into a fit of giggles remembering where I was.  Apparently in China if a man needs to use the restroom it is an URGENT matter and he is allowed to not only cut in front of a woman, but pull her out of a stall.  I could not stop laughing.  Granted, if I were at home or about 2 sheets to the wind, the outcome would not have been so pleasant for anyone.  I would have probably yelled...quite possibly thrown a punch (as I do not like being manhandled by anyone)....and would've ended up having to explain myself by way of translator.  It all just made me realize life is just one big joke...enjoy it because nothing is that serious.

U - Da - Ho

Back from Idaho and now in China.  Not China - China, but China - Asia...big difference!  ;)  I told someone that when they asked about my China trip...they asked if I was going to China - China, so I answered with the latter.  What does that even mean - China - China?

Idaho was amusing....everything I expected Idaho to be.  I have to start by saying I think I really dislike (hate is such a strong word) the San Diego airport.  3 notables within 20 minutes...so typical of my life.  

I had already checked in online and paid for the bag I was checking, so just needed to give the front desk peeps my bag.  Easy enough, right?  ha haha ha.  I start by asking a man from the airline (who was helping to direct people) if I was in the right line for checking a bag.  Well, in the meantime a man literally creeped up so close that if I turned 1 centimeter in any direction I would run into him.  I did not know he had creeped up on me and as I turned to walk I was told to watch myself.  Um...watch yourself...you are the one that creeped up on me SIR.  Ugh.  It was 6:40 am and too early to deal with this.  I get in the line to check my bag and when I get to the counter the woman asks for my boarding pass.  All I have is the print-out from when I checked in online.  She tells me that this is not really a boarding pass....I ask what the point of checking in online is.  But no answer.  I have to go to the kiosk to print my boarding pass.  I try to type in the information, however can not find any of the correlating data on the computer print out to put into the kiosk.  I decide to just get back in line and have someone else at the counter help me.  It is too early, I am not having people answer my legitimate questions, and I am still trying to wake up.  Nevertheless there is still someone out to get me.  As we are standing in the security line, which was a LINE.  A woman comes up with her husband saying "Oh, here's the line" as she stands next to my friend and I.  Please note...there are about 20 more people behind us (not an exaggeration, even for the purposes of a good story).  I tell the woman that the line ends way back yonder and point in the general direction.  I get the response of a stare down from hell for a good 30 seconds.  Go stare at yourself in the mirror for 30 seconds.  It's no joke...grueling, to the point of looking for a fight.  When she finally turns around and heads for the end of the line, my friend says "We weren't being mean, just letting you know".  The couple behind us comments on the interaction as well.  All I can say is "What...did she think if she stared me down long enough the line would go away?"  The sass never fails.  To make matters worse, as the lady-with-the-stare-tactics-that-would-end-the-war comes snakes her way thru the line opposite us, my friend and I hear "Anyone with a 7:20 flight?"  Ummm...hate to say it, but yes and glad about it.  We are immediately ushered to the front of the security line.  I can feel the darts puncturing the back of my skull as we carelessly make our way to the front of the line.

Upon arriving in Idaho, I have little to report.  I can now say I've been there, done that.  Got to see the capitol even.  Check and check.  The wedding was great and I have a great excuse for making the trip.  We had some great nights out - including a local girl telling us that she loves when girls lie and say they are from California to pretend to be pretty.  I'm still trying to figure out how to try to pretend to be pretty.

So, now I am in China.  After 24 hours of travel, a quick shower, a few hours in the office, quick nap, dinner with a factory, finally back in my room.  The factory dinners are always rough - they love a girl that can drink and I definately fill the role.  More stories to follow....

neglectlessness no more

so......it's definitely been a while since i blogged.  quite an understatement actually.  it's been TOOO LONG!  not really sure why....i like to blame it on my busy-ness with work and life in general.  needless to say, it's an excuse.  enough is enough.

Today I was reading through my numerous trend blogs that I frequent and it made me really miss my own blog that I have neglected - kind of like that whole red-headed step child thing.  It made me sad for a second, then I realized I am in control of my own destiny...and blog as it turns out, so I said to my self - Self get your scheisse's going again.  And here we are.

I am headed to Idaho (no...you da ho - never gets old) tomorrow with my main ho.  I am hoping for plenty of ridic at 5000+ feet.  I hope to have stories and pictures aplenty, as Lisa and I tend to have "photo shoots" when we get bored.  I just hope we don't get kicked off the plane.  

Upon my return I am headed to China for work.  I plan on working and playing pretty hard for that one.  I found out yesterday I am headed there in Coach seating.   Not that I will complain because it is an international trip on someone else's dime and I love seeing the culture, but.... I am not looking forward to the 5 kinks I will have in my neck upon arrival.  I'm gonna look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame by the time we land.  I'm sure that just as my spine gets back to normal I'll be heading home and have to start all over again.  

oh yeah...i remember why I miss this...It's like my diary.  I never found a reason to write in one.  I always thought it weird and uncomfortable to put my ideas, activities, and wishes in document form.  I much rather prefer them all having a tea party together in my head.  It allows for more mingling that way and procreation.  This is my way of kind of sorting through them all and finding some order in my chaotic mind.  Today I displaced the following tenants:  tomorrow's activity, Tuesday's activity, that little quirky one that prefers to lick the sugar bowl than drink tea, and sadly the german scheisse.  Maybe you can take them home and make them feel comfortable.  They are real good and don't take up too much room - afterall, I have a small head and there's a lot going on in there.

Back to work...it's been fun.  I will be back sooner than later...till then...

Raider Nation

I saw this lovely masterpiece on my commute this morning.  I tried to get a decent pict without rear-ending the car in front of me or getting myself shot in the face.  It's a little blurry, but just to clarify - that is an Impala SS and if you weren't sure, it's written in hot pink along the side.  But, that's not even my favorite part; on either side of the Impala logo on the back is 'Samoa' with an island logo and yes, a HOT PINK Raiders logo.  I love it.  It's like the Pink Ladies of the Raiders.  I didn't even know the Raiders had that.  I mean I know about the Raiderettes, but they don't even wear pink.  Instead of T-Birds and black cigarette pants, she's rocking an Impala and and men's XXXL jersey.  After snapping the pic I had to get out of there...I know the reputation of Raiders fans and I was not about to become one of their victims.  So, if I turn up missing, please know I did this for you.

marking my spot

HEY THERE!!!  I know it's been a while, but with the bum arm and overload at work I haven't found the time to write.  Well, I'm back....go ahead, sing with me now....Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back (Welcome Back, Kotter for those not in with the know).  The arm is working in full effect again and the brain's been spinning with the most recent abstract thought, so what better time to share....

Just got back from the bathroom (I often have thoughts in there, as I am a girl and it takes a bit of time to sit and take care of my bidness - that's for you Z'Qualin).  Anyway, enough with the shout-outs.  There are several Chinese- American citizens that work for my company and I got this thought in my head....let me preface it first.  In China, there are "western" toilets, which are the toilets that we use in America as you and I know them; however the locals get up on top and stand with their feet on either side of the toilet seat (the part that men are supposed to lift when urinating), squatting over the bowl.  I'll wait while you get that visual...got it?  Funny, right.  It would always make me giggle to go to the bathroom in China, lift the lid and see little foot prints on either side.  Well, I was wondering today if the Chinese-Americans in my office do the same thing.  As I sat there I started to giggle imagining various co-workers of mine stepping up onto the toilet to pee...hee hee.  It made me want to get up on the seat and leave my foot prints for a co-worker to find.  Most would not get it and probably think something kinky was going on in there, but I know there would be that one person that has been to China and would for a second forget where they were.  And that is what would make it all worth it....