Thursday, August 26, 2010

sucking on my ruffle...

No...I'm not copping a squat...well, I am, but not in that sense.  I was in Vegas last week for a trade show and wore this awesome long Rachel Pally striped jersey dress with the most adorable little ruffle at the bottom.  I have to say it's probably one of my favorite maxi dresses that I own.  My co-workers and I were riding down the escalator and as I was about to step off, the bottom of my dress got sucked into the escalator.  As I watched my dress slowly start disappearing down the side of the moving stairs, I dropped to the ground thinking it would rip right off of me and expose what few undergarments I had on.  Instead, the machine sucked so much of my dress that it caused the escalator to stop.  The people riding behind us had to walk the rest of the way down because my lovely little ruffle jammed up the track.  One of the officials for the trade show immediately ran over thinking I had hurt myself and all I could think of was to have him push the red emergency button to stop the machine so that it wouldn't start up again.  He told me the machine was stopped already.  I was staring up at this man trying to explain that it was stopped because my dress made it stop, but that it could start back up any minute and I REALLY did not want that to happen.  Eventually as a circle of trade show staff, fellow tradespeople, and even security formed around me they began to understand what I was saying and that I was fearful of being left in my birthday suit in a quite compromising position.  They finally pressed the emergency stop button and asked if they could cut my dress, which I would have allowed had it been an EMT and my leg was severed; but it really wasn't this dramatic.  I knew how to fix the problem - all that needed to happen was to reverse the machine so that I could be freed - but this was somehow very complicated and required a finger print, DNA sample, and first born child just to be allowed access to the magical button that would reverse the machine.  At this point I asked my co-worker to snap a pic because I knew no one would understand unless they saw.  Eventually, a sheriff rode over on his Segway (yes, Segway) and was able to reverse the machine and I could finally stand up.  The dress was completely greased up and shredded which made me so sad until the sheriff asked me the cost of the dress so I could be reimbursed.  There is no price for the mortification I felt while squatting on the ground and having people walk by staring down at me.  I now have a fear of escalators and make sure to stand directly in the middle with my hands and arms inside the cabin at all times.