Thursday, August 26, 2010

sucking on my ruffle...

No...I'm not copping a squat...well, I am, but not in that sense.  I was in Vegas last week for a trade show and wore this awesome long Rachel Pally striped jersey dress with the most adorable little ruffle at the bottom.  I have to say it's probably one of my favorite maxi dresses that I own.  My co-workers and I were riding down the escalator and as I was about to step off, the bottom of my dress got sucked into the escalator.  As I watched my dress slowly start disappearing down the side of the moving stairs, I dropped to the ground thinking it would rip right off of me and expose what few undergarments I had on.  Instead, the machine sucked so much of my dress that it caused the escalator to stop.  The people riding behind us had to walk the rest of the way down because my lovely little ruffle jammed up the track.  One of the officials for the trade show immediately ran over thinking I had hurt myself and all I could think of was to have him push the red emergency button to stop the machine so that it wouldn't start up again.  He told me the machine was stopped already.  I was staring up at this man trying to explain that it was stopped because my dress made it stop, but that it could start back up any minute and I REALLY did not want that to happen.  Eventually as a circle of trade show staff, fellow tradespeople, and even security formed around me they began to understand what I was saying and that I was fearful of being left in my birthday suit in a quite compromising position.  They finally pressed the emergency stop button and asked if they could cut my dress, which I would have allowed had it been an EMT and my leg was severed; but it really wasn't this dramatic.  I knew how to fix the problem - all that needed to happen was to reverse the machine so that I could be freed - but this was somehow very complicated and required a finger print, DNA sample, and first born child just to be allowed access to the magical button that would reverse the machine.  At this point I asked my co-worker to snap a pic because I knew no one would understand unless they saw.  Eventually, a sheriff rode over on his Segway (yes, Segway) and was able to reverse the machine and I could finally stand up.  The dress was completely greased up and shredded which made me so sad until the sheriff asked me the cost of the dress so I could be reimbursed.  There is no price for the mortification I felt while squatting on the ground and having people walk by staring down at me.  I now have a fear of escalators and make sure to stand directly in the middle with my hands and arms inside the cabin at all times.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Curating

I am in the process of moving and am now realizing I like to collect stuff.  Not like a rare stamp collection or creepy porcelain-faced dolls, or even beautiful butterflies pinned to polyfill under framed glass, but just stuff.  I wouldn't classify myself as a horder...I'm not talking about paper stacked pathways through my apartment to designated areas like the one seat on the couch or piles of old gum wrappers and twine, but stuff in general.  I have a vast "collection" of jewlery, make-up, shoes, clothes, scarves, craft items, etc.  I should just host tours and charge $2..."and to your left you'll find "Club" by Mac...This color dates back to 1999.  It was incredibly popular, especially with the sorority crowd.  Note the dark grey and aqua green with the juxtaposition of red-brown undertones.  Yes, quite a rarity...please do not push and stand behind the rope..."  

I think I just enjoy spending.  And that's great for this economy, but bad for my bank account and plans for my future.  I mean I've known that I have this horrible habit for a while, but seeing the amount of things (and that's exactly what they are - just things) that I am extracting and disposing of is making me depressed.  I'm finding things that I forgot I ever owned, may have worn once, and the ultimate worst - things with tags still on them.  I even have "back-ups" of lotion - body and face, sunscreen, medicines, mascara, and more.  UGH!  It really is ridiculous.

I'm trying to use this move as a cleansing and introduction of new behavior.  Out with the old...hold off on the new.  Too bad I'm already thinking about how much space is now available in my closet...and how I need some espadrilles...and I want to get postage stamps to make some cute notecards...and I'm craving some new lip stains...and I want to start wearing more headbands and barettes...and...

god...I need a support group....

Thursday, February 11, 2010

A few of my favorite things from McQueen

Alexander McQueen truly was an amazing designer. His feminine looks with a tough edge epitomize the modern, independent woman with attitude. His skull collection was probably one of my favs, by far. However, his keen eye for patterns, color and detail made his look really stand out. He will be missed.

~RIP Mr. McQueen~