so...my office does halloween....

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah...that is all....

because we love eachother....

I started a new job about a month ago and to say it's been crazybusy is an understatement.  I've been so neglectful to my cluster...sorry!  I vow to be better from here on out....

July 30...the day after the lay off....I had to get a new phone, as work removed the BB from my posession.  Boo!  Getting a new phone also involved getting a new number...Jaime's number.  Obviously at the time I didn't know it was Jaime's number, nor did I realize how many people are trying to get a hold of Jaime.  It started with a text I received from an unknown number on day 2 of the new digits.  I believe it said something along the lines of "baby, i miss you".  At first I was actually pretty excited...what a sweet little message.  I want to be missed.  I replied with "i think you have the wrong number".  Well, the gentleman thought I was playing games and proceeded to keep flirtexting.  In the midst of all of this I recieved a text from another number saying "hey baby", followed by "sorry, wrong jaime"...ah ha!  So, it's Jaime's number I've got. From that point on, I have recieved texts saying "are you still going to the show tomorrow night?", phone calls on school nights from inebriated kids yelling "JAIIIMMMMEEEE!", and voicemails from Banana Republic about an outstanding balance.  I've wanted to reply "what show...can I get tickets?", have groggily replied "this isn't jaime...grrr...", and thought "phew...glad it's not my account".

At this point I feel like I know this Jaime, like she's my old friend in much need of a catch up sesh.  At least I know she has friends that care about her, guys that want a piece, and unfortunately some financial problems (who doesn't these days).  In fact, I've learned that she lives in my town through the drunken musings before I heard Jaiiimmmeee screamed at me.  The scary part is that I have probably seen her out or met one of her friends, but how would either of us ever know?

Yesterday was the icing on the cake, but first let me preface it.  About a week or two ago, I received a phone call from an unknown number.  I rarely answer numbers that I don't recognize, especially after this whole Jaime fiasco.  I've feel that if someone is trying to reach Jaime, they should figure out pretty quickly that I am not her, as my voicemail says my name within the first 2 seconds.  Well, the unknown caller left me a message, which excited me.  I love trying to guess who it could be, but usually am let down.  Not today!  After dialing in my password, my lady friend told me I had one new message.  An elderly man clearly says hello, addressing me by my name, then explains he is Jaime's grandfather and is trying to reach her; as if we share this number.  He leaves me a detailed message explaining that they finally got a new t.v. and even gave a YIPPEEE.  That was my favorite part.  I was ready to call him back and let him know I didn't know Jaime or where she was, but I'd be his surrogate grand daughter as long as he kept up that YIPPEEE.  It could seriously turn a frown upside down.

I never called him back, but apparantly gramps was missing sweet little Jaime because I received a call from a number I didn't recognize yesterday and happened to answer it.  It was gramps!!!  He addressed me by name and explained that he was looking for Jaime.  I told him I did not know Jaime, but I must have her old number.  To which he replied, "we call each other because we love each other".  Awww, gramps, that's so sweet, but really don't need to know about the love.  I wished him luck in locating Jaime, which he assured me he could get in contact with her through her mother.  Not to be cynical, but I've had this number for the last three months and Jaime hasn't talked to gramps on it.  How much do they really love each other if Jaime nor mom clued gramps in on Jaime's new number?  It's almost worse than changing the locks on someone....

say hello to my little friend....

I decided with the weather getting cooler I was ready for some comfort food. Homemade butternut squash soup it would be. I wanted it a little spicy, so went to the patio to pick a pepper. I found this green guy hanging onto one of the stems. I almost picked him! He is a beautiful catterpiller, but I don't think I've ever seen one this big! Just to get a good perspective on how big this guy is...I took another picture with my arm in it. He is bigger and fatter than my middle finger! Probably weighs more than many newborns. Being that he is the size of many of those little pets that people call dogs (I think they are more of the rat varietal). I wanted to make him my new pet...I figured he's pretty low maintenance and since he really didn't mind me petting him I thought he'd be happy about the deal too. I came up with a couple names - Henry, Pepper, and Slim; however I wanted to sleep on it before committing to one. Often, pets' personalities come out as you get to know them and I wanted to make sure I named him appropriately. The soup turned out scrumptious and the rest of the night was pretty uneventful, but went to sleep with sweet dreams of my new pet and the many adventures we would have - picking out his first collar; going on long walks; playing catch; and driving around with his head out the window, tongue flapping in the wind.

This morning I was so excited to greet my new pet and made sure to visit him on the patio before jetting off to work. I bee-lined it to his home, but didn't see him. I mean I barely saw him the night before and even thought he was a pepper, so I looked all over the pepper plant, soil below, and even neighboring plants. Little Slim was gone! I knew he would one day turn into a beautiful butterfly and leave me, but overnight? A caterpiller that big would surely be a big butterfly and would need some time in his chrysallis! I looked up to see the several plump pigeons already collected on the telephone lines and was sure I heard one burp and lick his beak. Poor Slim! Looks like Thanksgiving came a little early for some...

raising my glass...

Congrats to Obama! Nobel Peace Prize....what an amazing acheivement to be awarded!

Imagine being hired for a multi-trillion dollar company and expected to turn it around 180 degrees by increasing profit, increasing benefits for all employees, overseeing a corporate take-over of a rival company where competition and tension is extremely high, and regaining respect within the industry and among fellow employees; all while not getting support from the other excutive heads or management in the company...within a year....ethically. Pretty difficult task. Yet, Obama is being criticized for not measuring up to these standards. Before he took office, America had a slew of issues that needed to be dealt with, but our CEO seemed to muddle everything up. I'm not getting into the politics, but just want to express my happiness that Obama sees the bigger picture and realizes it's better to play nice and keep friends because they will be more willing to help you out later.

Change!

ass'd out

Saw this headline today in my Inbox from a neighborhood news update....

LIVE VIDEO FEED as Ass'y Committee To Vote on SB 250 ("Pet Responsibility Act") re spay/neuter

This is almost too easy.  Ass'y?  Come on...that can't be the abbreviation for Assembly.  I mean the government is full of them, but who knew they were so aware and accepting of being asses.  Well, what do you know...It is!  I just checked three different websites and all came up with the same conclusion.  However, they didn't include the apostrophe...they just went straight Assy.  

It reminds me of when I was in seventh grade Science class.  Our teacher had a very specific set of titles for each of our divider tabs in our notebooks.  I wasn't able to fit 'Assignments' on the tiny little divider tab, so being an extremely naive, but brainy twelve year old I simply put 'Ass'.   Afterall, my relationship with the English language up to that point had always shown me that common abbreviations were the first three to four letters of the word.  You know, Jul, Aug, Capt, min, etc.  When I got to class the next day ready for the teacher to check my notebook, feeling pretty proud of my organization and penmanship abilities, a couple of my friends started giggling at my Ass tab.  They explained that Ass was not the correct abbreviation for Assignments, but actually Assn was more appropriate.  I quickly added an 'N' to my Ass, to cover it and not make the teacher think I was being a smart one.  However in checking the correct abbreviation for Assignments it actually is acceptable to use Ass, so it could've been Ass's plain and simple, although I'm not sure the teacher would've appreciated this.  

Update to the headline: the Ass'y approved the act.  So, let's hear it for the Assy taking on some tough ass's. 

hoopin' it up

So...I've joined the American non-working force with "eliminated" positions.  It's the first time I have experienced this sort of shock, but I'm glad I have time for blogging again.  :)  I must admit I wasn't getting enough exposure to the general public to allow for any ridiculousness.  However, now that my days are filled with coffee shop job-surfing, reading, and enjoying the world around me I've had some interesting experiences.

I am spending my weekend in Venice Beach, CA...I know...that opens up a wealth of ridiculousness.  However, yesterday's giggle was actually away from the boardwalk and more mainstream.  Surprisingly.

I am staying at a recently moved into apartment of someone who is out of town.  While working on the resume yesterday afternoon, I heard a knock at the door.  Normally no one is home during the day, so I was hesitant to answer.  Earlier there were some workers hosing down the patio and had sprayed water against the front door leading to quite a mess of dirty water dripped down the door and puddling on the floor below.  I figured the knock was a concerned worker checking the stats on the patio "cleaning" job.  I answered and there was a confused postman in front of me...holding what appeared to be a large hula hoop wrapped in brown paper.  He asked for Elaine and I replied that I was sorry, but she didn't live here any more.  He asked again, hoping I'd change my mind.  When I explained again that she no longer lived here, he gave me the saddest look and put the brown-papered hula hoop around his neck and turned to continue with his deliveries.  That poor man had to traipse through the neighborhood carrying a large hula hoop and I'm sure when someone answered the door he was elated to be rid of it...only to learn he would have to return to the post office with the undeliverable package.  I'm sure he had a rough day in the office with that one.  I can see all his mail carrying peers giving him a hard time on that one.  I wonder if they secretly "mail" awkward packages on each other's routes as their "office antics".  You know, like how people in graphics alter pictures of others in the office for a laugh, computer programmers make pictures of elaborate scenes using only symbols on a keyboard, and 911 operators make fake calls of people choking on the other end of the line.  Hmmm...no?  As soon as I shut the door, I realized I should have just taken it...it could've been a great time-killer for me.  Oh well, next time...because I'm sure brown-papered hula hoops are delivered via USPS all the time.  I think 2010 will be the year of the brown-papered birthday hula hoop - be prepared friends.  :)

lucky me

Today while on hold with the LA Court system trying to change the time of my court appearance (long story, which will make it here on or around the 25th of June) I got to listen to some lovely instrumental jazz.  The song was 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas'.  It took me a second to place it...but then I realized I was saying "let your heart be light".  I thought maybe it was a coincidence - you know, maybe like how the ABC song sounds like Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  I decided the chances are pretty slim - it's just a Christmas song.  It is the middle of June, so either they are too early or a little late with that one.  It being the LA court system, I'm sure no one got around to removing that one from the selection after the month of December; probably because they were on break or their window was closed.  Sorry to generalize, but every experience I have had in dealing with our wonderful bureaucratic system has been negative.  This citation that I am trying to take care of is not even for me - it was a typo from the DMV, but i need to take care of it by appearing in court and speaking to a judge.  That makes a lot of sense, right?  

Even just now after talking to a clerk and requesting to change my time of appearance to be in the morning, rather than the evening, I was told that I can not.  When I scheduled my court date, it was about 2 months ago and I didn't know if I would have work obligations on this day, which I brought to the attention of the clerk who scheduled my date.  She told me that I could call and change the time only, not the date.  Now I am being told the opposite and told that I obviously didn't understand what the first clerk told me.  I did understand what I was told - both today and 2 months ago; however it gets rather confusing when two people who are supposed to be following the same protocol tell you completely opposite information.  It further perturbs me when I am now being told that it is because I can not comprehend what I was told.  It makes it really hard to follow the rules.  Not to be bratty, but I've probably had more education than both of them (probably not both together though, although it wouldn't surprise me).

So, after speaking with the woman on the phone, I am told that I can not change court times; however if I "miss" my court date I can show up the next day in the morning or afternoon time slot.  Now maybe I'm missing the logic here, but wouldn't it just be easier to schedule me in earlier in the day that I currently have assigned, rather than assume I will be there at the evening time and not have me show up.  Then to have me show up the next morning and cause a disruption in the schedule?  What's the point in scheduling a court date/time when it seems it's just an approximation of when you may be there?  

I tend to ask a lot of questions, as I like to understand why certain rules are in place - some think I am being obstinate, but I really just want to know to better understand the reasoning.  Believe me, I got in trouble by the parents A LOT as a child for my questions - I was told I was being difficult.  So, I ask this woman why it is this way and why i couldn't just schedule an earlier time.  She told me I was lucky to even be able to show up the following day.  So I responded with, "well, I'm glad I'm lucky"...of course in my most sarcastic, but trying to sound clueless tone.  I really wanted to follow it up with "maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket", but I'm sure she could've removed any existence of my questioned court date with a swift pinky to the delete button on her keyboard, so I resisted.  I didn't realize LUCK played a part in the judicial system, I thought it was a system that promotes truth and justice.  Hmmm....I guess I was unlucky from the beginning in having to take care of this mistaken identity in the first place.  Maybe I will have myself a merry little christmas today...and I really wish "from now on, [my] troubles will be miles away".