JUDGING

I think port-o-potties are one of society's most vile inventions.  While it's nice to have an enclosed excrement station when you are in public spaces, they also offer some vile offspring.  When I am on a pleasant walk/run in my neighborhood it should not be allowed for me to enjoy the fecal cocktail brewing on my neighbor's lawn whilst they add that second master bedroom and jacuzzi tub.  And with the way contractor's work these days, I must endure the hot stink aroma for months.  Secondly, when I am at a concert/outdoor sporting event I do not need to see the variety of poo sculptures awaiting my innocent eyes upon entry.  I feel like a judge in the World's Poo Fair - categories being: Grossest Concoction of VSP (vomit, shit, and piss); Best Shit Explosion (this being rivaled by Hollywood pyrotechnics); Tallest Freestanding Structure (the abrasive 100 grit toilet paper can not be a support of any kind); and finally Most Unidentified Smell (this concoction is so foul your poor nasal receptors can not even begin to decipher it's origin).  That being said, I can't wait for the upcoming December festivities of the X-Mas Parade and Boat Parade when the streets are lined with port-o-potties for the droves of people wanting to partake in the holiday drunken festivities.  I know this year will be the big winner for Most Unidentified Smell...yippee!